Stephann made a great post... just thought I'd link to it. He's right on the dot about a lot of things.
Especially names. I think people underestimate how important it is. A generic name screams lack of creativity. So if your name has a number tagged onto it, I can only think that you are one of many, and there's no need to bother talking with you specifically.
Also, if a person does have their IM listed somewhere, go ahead and chat with them. But otherwise, don't ask until you've sent enough emails to established that you're actually an intelligent person. If you can't have a good conversation with me, we cannot have a relationship. Of any kind. (I mean, that's plain common sense, right?)
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